Weekend Safety Brief - 10 March 2017

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Aight you heartbreakers and life-takers…wait…forgot who I was talking to…let me start over…

Aight you mouth-breathers and crayon-eaters…listen UP! Form a tight horseshoe formation around the old First Sergeant. Marines…not too close…shit always goes real ghey when y’all get too close.

Meach! My good God…Meach…front and center! Jesus Christ on a popsicle stick cross…what have you done??? I approve your transfer to the most prestigious posting you have ever had, and I finally get an email from your First Sergeant. I swear…I may just recall you back to Gruntworks Central Command for permanent printer cleaning duty!

DROP! On your back…flutter kicks…feet 6 inches over the Drop Zone…until our President grows tired of Tweeting! {Hydrate…you may be there a while}.

There are Army regs and Field Manuals…and you are not high enough in rank to change ANY of them! Your version of “urban camouflage” is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE!!! If your First Sergeant EVER catches you in red lipstick, green eye shadow, blush, mascara, and camouflage pantyhose (again)…there will be Hell to pay!!! Dammit, Meach…you scared the everloving shit out of those strippers…and they aren’t scared of much! Luckily, I am friends with the local Police Chief and District Attorney, and they agreed to let things die down and just “lose” the restraining order paperwork.

You are going to give me a heart attack…and I do NOT want the “kiss of life” from anyone in this formation. Just let Mrs. Dickie collect the $400k and pour a bottle of Irish Whiskey over my grave (NO…it MAY NOT pass through your kidneys first).

Weekend Safety Brief:

In light of recent events on certain private USMC pages…you have one warning: Take a picture, do not post. Shit has gotten out of hand on social media. We now have a President that actually supports the military…don’t fuck it up!

Don’t drink and drive.

Don’t do dude’s wives, nor their daughters.

Don’t do drugs.

One final thing…take care of your battle buddy. Watch his six (he watches yours), and roll in heavy fire teams when down range. We ARE our brother’s keepers…don’t you forget that!

Now get out of my faced before I find something un-productive for you to do this weekend.

1SG Dickie OUT!!!